Loving my new @asos dress! #springishere #dress #ootd #plussize
I feel some long-windedness coming on, but I just had to let it out. @ASOS will just always be a company I invest in, simply because, when I shop with them, I don’t feel like an afterthought. They actually have a plus-size line that is WELL MADE (like they actually put some work into this so it looks good and it’s not cheap material), keeps up with current trends (so you don’t look like your momma or your grandmomma although I’m sure they’re nice and you love them), and doesn’t break the bank! I don’t know if anyone knows how rare that is, but it is. A lot of the time, with many clothing companies, the plus size section is like, “Oh wow. You’ve got a lot of boob and butt going on there. Looks like you’ve got a belly, too. Here, why don’t you buy this tent. It’ll make for a trendy moo moo, but at least it’s something right?” That used to mess with my entire psyche growing up.
There’s nothing wrong with being super thin, but I just have never been that girl. I’ve been a big girl my whole life with a butt and a belly since always and boobs since the fourth grade. I couldn’t help it. For the longest time, I wore nothing but jeans and oversized shirts because I was literally trying to hide my body. I would always say I hated shopping and didn’t care about clothes—and it was the truth, but it wasn’t all of it. I hated how the whole experience of shopping just made me feel tormented because I didn’t like how any of the clothes available for girls my size made me look.
Anyway, it took me a REALLY long time to get over those hang ups and it’s still a work in progress, but shopping is really fun these days. I’m exploring a whole new side to myself and getting to express myself more and more. I feel my confidence growing and I’m coming out of my shell more and more. And the whole focus is on dressing in a way that makes me feel good, not about looking skinny, hiding my belly, and being a size 2. It’s liberating!
As a sidenote, I owe SO MUCH to Amber Riley on that front because without her as the catalyst to work on self-acceptance and learning to love myself, I would probably still be at a horrible place with myself and just the thought of my headspace a mere four years ago makes me tear up because it was really just not good place to be. But these days, I can genuinely say that I wake up and look in the mirror and see someone that I love and that I’m proud to be—even if I’m still my own toughest critic somedays (we all have those days.) It’s still a work in progress, and probably will always be, I’m human after all, but I’m at a really good place with myself these days and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly put into words how grateful I am for that.